Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob

Whine and Bitch about people long after they become interesting to talk about
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Boogie's Panniculus
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Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob

Post by Boogie's Panniculus » Sat Dec 16, 2017 1:42 pm

drisko wrote:
Sat Dec 16, 2017 7:00 am
you know what, fuck it, Christmas ended up not breaking me so even if it turns out you're wrong, it's only $20.

EDIT: Downloading now, it's going to take an hour, then however long to upload to YT. So you guys can watch it soon. He even uploaded it to dropbox of all places so of course I selected the download link. Guess he sees this as selling it digitally.
The hero we need.

EDIT:
You should just post the dropbox link as well.

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drisko
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Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob

Post by drisko » Sat Dec 16, 2017 11:53 pm

Well good news for me is that Brad doesn't charge right away, so this was free. Skip ahead to four minutes, before then he threw in a trailer for some other disco movie. Can't post the drop box link because I no longer have access to it, but does it really matter?


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Boogie's Panniculus
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Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob

Post by Boogie's Panniculus » Sun Dec 17, 2017 12:30 am

I'm just searching around the movie...

There's a scene with allison sitting in the middle of 4 guys all pointing hard rods in her direction. :lol:

The rods are guns... but brad knows it's a bukkake fantasy.

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SomeBlackCuck

Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob

Post by SomeBlackCuck » Sun Dec 17, 2017 12:52 am

I am 100% positive that the trailer in the first 4 minutes is the best part of this whole thing, since it for a classic. "Where is Bucky? What has he had?"

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drisko
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Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob

Post by drisko » Sun Dec 17, 2017 1:46 am

I'll watch it later though the 1 hour twenty minute runtime has me hopeful it won't be too painful. Jesus, Bro was boring but it was only 85 min so I could stomach it.

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Tony Schiavone
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Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob

Post by Tony Schiavone » Sun Dec 17, 2017 2:29 am

Holy moley. Just skipping through two minutes of this movie dials the cringe to 11.

Serious question: if Brad can't write and direct, and all his actors are terrible, why doesn't he at least try to hire some attractive women? Instead of all these fat ugly broads, he could at least hire some hookers. You could argue it would make a much better trash movie than this community college film fail.
...and still: Spoony did nothing.

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Boogie's Panniculus
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Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob

Post by Boogie's Panniculus » Sun Dec 17, 2017 2:35 am

Tony Schiavone wrote:
Sun Dec 17, 2017 2:29 am
he could at least hire some hookers.
HERE"S THE SOLUTION!

He should just direct full on pornos.

Go old school with it and have plots. Brad's writing and stories would fit well in a porno.

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Tony Schiavone
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Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob

Post by Tony Schiavone » Sun Dec 17, 2017 2:43 am

Boogie's Panniculus wrote:
Sun Dec 17, 2017 2:35 am

He should just direct full on pornos
The more I think about it, the more I think Brad must've had somebody--in the true Hollywood tradition--once tell him he wasn't good enough to make porno quality movies. And that he's never make it in that business.

"Well, I'll show them!" he thought.


Yes, that explains it. His movies are almost good enough to be pornos. But not quite.
...and still: Spoony did nothing.

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Cucksonjin

Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob

Post by Cucksonjin » Sun Dec 17, 2017 4:45 am

holly shit! that was 10 times worse than jesus bro and to boldly flee together

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oldbones

Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob

Post by oldbones » Sun Dec 17, 2017 4:45 am

A description of Brads shitfuck movie in one word: Embarrassing.

If he turned something like this in at any film school they would have laughed him out of the classroom. Not just because the acting is terrible (though it is...it's to be expected when you get your friends to act) but because technically it was a piece of shit. Writing, lighting, shooting, editing, sound are all sub-par. Not one shot that was even remotely interesting to look at or at least trying something weird or different. Just a bunch of poorly lit flat shots of ugly idiots pretending to be actors. Doge is the best actor in it and that's only because he doesn't say a word.

Its funny that he loves 70's garbage movies so much yet he doesn't understand why they are liked. They all had the same problems his "movie" has: Terrible actors, awful cheesy dialogue, bad pacing, nonsensical storyline, terribly shot and edited, and dogshit sound quality. Yet some of these movies are still liked because they had a charm to them whereas Brad's aborted clone of a 70's movie evokes only boredom.

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