Dead Horse Interchange

He's not just biting the hand that feeds him, he has already eating it and is proceeding up the arm.

His claim about "patrons are getting TWO things" is hilarious bullshit.

It's like if I went to Burger King and I ordered a Whopper, and the guy gave me some kind of chicken sandwich bullshit. And I go back to him and say "I ordered a Whopper." So he tells me "nah man, you're going to get your whopper AND this sandwich. Come back in six months and bring me this IOU I just gave you and I'll give you your FREE Whopper then."

But I didn't want a fucking chicken sandwich! I wanted a Whopper! I paid for the Whopper! Now you're telling me I don't get my Whopper for six months, and for all I know, you won't even be working at Burger King six months from now! You might be homeless!

There's a nice Tevin analogy for you about why this DSP explanation is horseshit. His fans are probably paying for Sunshine NOW because they want to get hyped for Mario Odyssey. If he plays Sunshine in January, nobody will care because they'll have already had their fill of Mario with the newest Mario game. DSP's fucking over his own future.

Oh and he cares an awful lot about youtube revenue when you consider his youtube revenue is in the shitter and his channel could get flagged ad-unfriendly absolutely any day now. The writing is on the wall. If I were him, I'd so Sunshine as a twitch-exclusive stream and archive it. Make all those sick bits and cheers and tips and fuck the youtube ad shekels.

"Fuck Youtube before Youtube fucks you" would be a decent advice for him. Might make him last for a few more months.

Guest wrote: ↑

Sat Sep 16, 2017 5:07 pm

He sounds like Spoony in that video. He is shitting pretty hard on his patreons. If Patreon was the only thing that keept me afloat from losing my house I would suck their dicks pretty hard and play this Sunshine game immediately

The new Mario game comes out at the end of next month so its not like he doesn't have the time to to at least start the playthrough. It's not like it matters much anyway what he plays, his views suck dick either way.

He would find a way to be worse than Egoraptor

Burger King is actually worse of than Patreon because they don't get a Spoony that takes idiots for a ride, people actually have to do their job or the business fails

VoiceOfReasonPast wrote: ↑

Sat Sep 16, 2017 6:38 pm

"Fuck Youtube before Youtube fucks you" would be a decent advice for him. Might make him last for a few more months.

The big solution for him is to downsize until his expenses are reasonable. Nothing else can save him until he does that.

He's already essentially all-on on twitch. If I were him, I'd up the hours to 8-10 every day (he claims to be desperate yet streams 6 hours maybe) and prioritize whatever will draw the biggest stream numbers. Fuck youtube because his views are piss-poor anyway and his content isn't advertiser-friendly.

Going all-in on twitch has its own serious issues and isn't any more stable than youtube, but it might keep him afloat for a few more months, and give him time to unload that fucking house and return his car.

Anyway, that's what I'd do in his place. He desperately needs to think about cutting his losses and salvaging what he can. The way he's going now, with the attitude he has, he'll end up completely destitute around age 45, with no job prospects, no work history, ruined credit, no income and parents getting too old to bail him out.

He'll be well and truly fucked.

rpgworm wrote: ↑

Sat Sep 16, 2017 3:42 am

I don´t hate Phil, I don´t think he is a nice person, but I can´t see him as this monstrous asshole that people make him out to be. To me, I can only see this childish and selfish person. So when I call him a loser, I don´t say it out of malice, it is just the facts, and the fact is that he is a loser because he won´t do anything about it, and will use every single excuse he can to stop being a loser.

He isn't a monstrous asshole. He's just a baffling asshole. He's a total dick without even trying in a very unique way. That's why I love him so much and absolutely want him to stay on YT.
See, you may right now think he isn't that much of an asshole. Go watch a video of his. Go watch any week in preview. Go watch any fitan geam steam of his. He is an incredible cunt. He will be much, much worse than you remembered him to be. He will make incredibly douchey demands from his fans, bitch much more than anybody could try to emulate and be a totally vile cunt to his opponents. He will make more excuses for himself than you think possible. You'll be surprised.
But tomorrow, in your mind, he will not be that bad. Until you watch any of his stuff again.
He just keeps surprising with how shit he really is. Time and time again!

You see utter vile cunts like Boogie, who I actually want to die, and boring shitters like Spoony, who don't do anything. You see Linkara, who is just ridiculous. You see all those Internet Nobodies and then you think about Phil. He's not that bad by comparison. Until you watch a video of his.
It's like the heat of hell. You never get used to it. He hits you time and time again with just how shit he is. You can't ever remember how shit he is because he's shit in a very unusual way. That makes him irreplaceable.

You can make fun of Linkara going all "Voltage Vengers has NO. SET. SCHEDULE." but you can't make fun of DSP. Fatbeef recently tried it by sucking shit on stream on purpose, trying to impersonate him. The retards from SoK cheered him on. Besides Fatbeef being at least as shit at vidya as Phil is, they were missing the point. The goon faggot wanted to take the piss out of him. Watch DSP. He didn't even come close in the way of DSPisms, despite trying!
You can't be an exaggerate DSP at all. He isn't as bad as you think or remember. He's worse.

The amount of food he eats in each "DSP Tries It" vid says he's the last person who should be lecturing us on "too much of a good thing."

I'm surprised his fans never put two and two together on how many times he talks about going out to eat and then how many times he cries about needing money.

Nigga, seriously now. $8 for one meal and then you whine about having no money.