Chris "Zod's Snapped Neck" Cuckmann

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Kugelfisch
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Re: Chris "Zod's Snapped Neck" Cuckmann

Post by Kugelfisch » Thu Aug 24, 2017 1:27 pm

The actors did nothing for the prequels. I'm willing to believe you that the Disney SW movies are utter shit, though. Unlike the prequels, I won't ever watch them. I have learned my lesson. I won't ever watch a Star Wars movie besides the OG trilogy again. The story is done. It's finished. No need to watch any of that newer shit. I feel as much obligation to watch them as I feel like having to watch the direct to DVD sequels of The Mask or Ace Ventura.
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Poonoo
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Re: Chris "Zod's Snapped Neck" Cuckmann

Post by Poonoo » Thu Aug 24, 2017 2:03 pm

Le Redditeur wrote:
Thu Aug 24, 2017 1:10 pm
Poonoo wrote:
Thu Aug 24, 2017 5:33 am
This, especially the rewrites. The bluprint for a good Star Wars Movie was there (and no, I don't mean it being a New Hope ripoff) but JJ fucked up the execution. A lot of it is in character interaction, it suffers from Joss Whedonism where everyone is a smartass with quirky quips and shit rather than meaningful dialogue.
I guess everything can be rewritten into not being shit, but to make TFA any good you'd have to completely change its premises. For example, one of the most retarded things TFA has going for it is the existence of Empire 2.0, which is MORE porwerful and MORE bigger and MORE well armed than the old Empire (because the Mouse wants MORE and MORE and MORE).
I agree, which is why I would have had them behave more like Space ISIS rather than Space Nazi's 2.0 (and play off the members being former Empire members like ISIS with Sadam's generals). Don't know why JarJar couldn't have done it, he could have played the Jew card if anything accused him of racism.
Le Redditeur wrote:
Thu Aug 24, 2017 1:10 pm
Poonoo wrote:
Thu Aug 24, 2017 5:33 am
Han could have been the mentor to guide them. Han would have gotten Finn to loosen up a bit since Han is a more go-with-the-flow kind of guy, while he could have also been an actual father figure for Rei since she would have learned everything on her own which would have made her sloppy and reckless. But instead she knows how to fix the Falcon perfectly and knows everything. I would have had her be naturally good but messing up a few things with no formal training, which Han could have helped her with.

But that didn't happen. Han was there for NOSTALGIA, Rei and Finn were bantering fucking immediately after meeting because modern nerdshit writing.
That would required Harrison Ford to give a single shit about being in this giant turd, which he didn't (he's just in for the nostalgia shekels, if his trifecta of Indiana Jones/Star Wars/Blade Runner shows anything).
But for Star Wars he always wanted Han to die. If he wanted Nostalgia shekels, he would have kept the character alive to finish the trilogy. And in my scenario, he still dies the same way, making his death more tragic than a nostalgia thing, it would be tragic for Finn and Rey.
Old Black Man wrote:
Wed Nov 27, 2019 9:11 pm
Also Lupa’s grandmother? Please, we know that hag was alive and well back then. She’s like the dude from Highlander, only a cunt.
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rabidtictac
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Re: Chris "Zod's Snapped Neck" Cuckmann

Post by rabidtictac » Thu Aug 24, 2017 2:47 pm

I ain't responding to that shit nigga
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Le Redditeur
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Re: Chris "Zod's Snapped Neck" Cuckmann

Post by Le Redditeur » Thu Aug 24, 2017 4:00 pm

rabidtictac wrote:
Thu Aug 24, 2017 2:47 pm
I ain't responding to that shit nigga
That's OK, I spoiled the wall of text so you don't need to read it if you don't want to. Carry on to the topic of Chris Cuckmann as per the program.

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Keith Chegwin
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Re: Chris "Zod's Snapped Neck" Cuckmann

Post by Keith Chegwin » Sat Aug 26, 2017 5:02 am

There was one good scene in the prequels
Kugelfisch wrote:
Sat Mar 21, 2020 2:05 am
Imagine spending a billion US dollars to be a loser. Could've watched animu and be one for free.

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mad bum
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Re: Chris "Zod's Snapped Neck" Cuckmann

Post by mad bum » Sat Aug 26, 2017 5:19 am

Keith Chegwin wrote:
Sat Aug 26, 2017 5:02 am
There was one good scene in the prequels
spoiler tag that shit you ffffffffffuckkkkkkkkk 8-)
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Re: Chris "Zod's Snapped Neck" Cuckmann

Post by Guest » Wed Sep 13, 2017 2:35 am

his wife is really hot in that belle costume

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Re: Chris "Zod's Snapped Neck" Cuckmann

Post by mad bum » Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:24 am

Guest wrote:
Wed Sep 13, 2017 2:35 am
his wife is really hot in that belle costume
Guest posting was a mistake.
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Kugelfisch
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Re: Chris "Zod's Snapped Neck" Cuckmann

Post by Kugelfisch » Wed Sep 13, 2017 3:38 pm

I demand pictures. I won't bother looking it up because I am sure that statement is false.
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Cannons bray, the mighty quake!
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Re: Chris "Zod's Snapped Neck" Cuckmann

Post by Guest » Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:49 pm

His review of BatB 2017.

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