E3!

Talk about the life consuming, celibacy inducing hobby that is all the rage these days.
VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: E3!

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:06 pm

So when will we get AssCred Evangelion, where we get to play as Assassin Jesus - who of course let himself crucified because the cross was actually a conduit to Lord Xenu?

Taco Jim

Re: E3!

Post by Taco Jim » Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:48 pm

That Beyond Good & Evil 2 trailer is both the best and worst thing I've seen in a long time. Best because there's a busty-as-fuck Asian honey who hides things in her massive tits. Worst because JESUS CHRIST EVERYTHING!

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Kugelfisch
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Re: E3!

Post by Kugelfisch » Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:48 pm

VoiceOfReasonPast wrote:
Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:06 pm
So when will we get AssCred Evangelion, where we get to play as Assassin Jesus - who of course let himself crucified because the cross was actually a conduit to Lord Xenu?
I'm sure they'd love to do just that but so far they haven't touched Jesus. I guess that's an iron too hot to strike.
I know you're trying to ridicule AC here but that's hardly possible anymore.
Taco Jim wrote:
Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:48 pm
That Beyond Good & Evil 2 trailer is both the best and worst thing I've seen in a long time. Best because there's a busty-as-fuck Asian honey who hides things in her massive tits. Worst because JESUS CHRIST EVERYTHING!
Dude, get fucked! On your promise of tits I attempted to watch that trailer. I have cancer now.
Hail Eris, all hail Discordia!

Charlar
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Joined: Sat Mar 25, 2017 6:11 pm

Re: E3!

Post by Charlar » Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:49 pm

Kugelfisch wrote:
Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:00 pm
Charlar wrote:
Tue Jun 13, 2017 2:10 am
It must not have beeen that much of a dead fish sales wises, they unfortunately are making a sequel
Sure, I believe (and I fucking had to peek at Bart's post again for the name) Horizon Zero Fucks Given sold well. Have you heard about it, though? They hyped the everloving shit out of it and I'm sure it got tons of pre-orders from desperate Sonyggers that want just something, anything, to play on the NoGamesStation 4.
From what little I heard it was "meh" at the very best. So uninteresting that you neither hear people praising nor shitting on it.
Charlar wrote:
Tue Jun 13, 2017 2:06 am
Wait what? I only played a little bit of AC1 so i don't know what you are talking about
I've 100%'d Asscreed 2. Throughout the game there are hidden symbols for you to find, which then open a puzzle screen with eery music. Solve the puzzle and you find out some of the backstory. I really liked AC2 but it was then when I called that they have no fucking clue what they are doing with the whole Assassin vs. Templar story and it's going to be another Lost thing.

Alright, check this shit out:
You remember that apple of eden relic from the end of AC1? If not, turns out that your Assassin leader is a dickhole and uses some golden ball that basically gives him superpowers to influence people. He can make people bend to his will, create illusions and shit.
That's what your dude was put into the Animus for in the first place. The Templars want to find out where that relic ended up so they can use it to enslave the world, basically. AC1 ends on a cliffhanger with the Assassins having figured out yet another ancestor that was involved with that shit somehow.

That's where AC2 comes in. Ezio is that ancestor. The info you're unlocking through the puzzles shows you famous people and that they were in possession of that apple or some staff relic that basically functioned the same. So Ghandi, Naopleon and others used the power of influencing and manipulating people's minds. Naturally, they were either Templars if they are something we'd consider evil today or assassins.
Ezio doesn't see those symbols, just Desmond, the dude you're actually playing, does.
Likewise, the game ends with Ezio not getting the apple, which was what he thought he'd find in some vault but instead a hologram of an alien - I shit you not - that tells Desmond(!) where to search next to find one of those relics. Which left Ezio, of course, confused as fuck as the hologram was speaking to somebody that wouldn't be born for another couple of hundred years.
Desmond and crew go to some alien vault the hologram told them about and by this point I don't quite remember. I think they find an apple or Desmond does in a hallucination, causing him to stab the woman that got him out of the Templar complex since she's actually a double agent for the Templars.

Find all clues and solve all puzzles and this video, called "The Truth" unlocks:


So you tell me, did they jump the shark straight into batshitville already at AC2 or what? Supposedly, Revelations came along and made it even dumber with more shit about aliens and Atlantis and shit. After AC2 I already didn't care anymore.
What the fuck?
On the internet, everyone end up being Spoony and Tim Buckley

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Kugelfisch
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Re: E3!

Post by Kugelfisch » Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:54 pm

Charlar wrote:
Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:49 pm
What the fuck?
What? You thought I was joking?
Hail Eris, all hail Discordia!

Charlar
Posts: 495
Joined: Sat Mar 25, 2017 6:11 pm

Re: E3!

Post by Charlar » Tue Jun 13, 2017 9:36 pm

Kugelfisch wrote:
Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:54 pm
Charlar wrote:
Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:49 pm
What the fuck?
What? You thought I was joking?
No i did not think that, i just am speechless over how they didn't just jump thr shark but jumped on it while singing "jumpey Sharko"
On the internet, everyone end up being Spoony and Tim Buckley

Johnny

Re: E3!

Post by Johnny » Tue Jun 13, 2017 10:00 pm

For me, the story of the AssCreed series was ruined in the very first game the moment they decided to throw in bullshit modern day segments and reveal that the past segments of the game were actually repressed memories of the main character's descendant. I understand they toned down the Animus sub-plot in the later games, but that shit was enough for me to never bother exploring the rest of the series (it doesn't help that they made so many games in over a span of a decade).

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Seele
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Re: E3!

Post by Seele » Tue Jun 13, 2017 11:00 pm

Jesus...it's already been 10 years since the first game?
And it's still not dead yet from loss of interest?
God's in his Heaven/All's right with the world

Johnny

Re: E3!

Post by Johnny » Wed Jun 14, 2017 12:42 am

Yeah. They been churning out a new one every year like Activision does with Call of Duty. I think the last one people really liked was AssCreed IV (the one with the pirates that was cross-gen) and probably Rogue. Unity turned out to be a microtransactions-ridden disaster and I didn't see many people talking about Syndicate after it came out.

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rabidtictac
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Re: E3!

Post by rabidtictac » Wed Jun 14, 2017 12:47 am

Seele wrote:
Tue Jun 13, 2017 11:00 pm
Jesus...it's already been 10 years since the first game?
And it's still not dead yet from loss of interest?
Depends what you mean by "dead." You can't make a franchise annual and keep your quality. Not that I was much impressed by the "quality" of these sidequest/minigame sims in the first place.

They're still making them and I guess normies still buy, a lot of people who play games don't like asscreed.

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