Star Whores: Diverse Agenda

[Charlar]

The dumbest thing they could do is set up the climax of the last movie to be Rei vs. Phasma.

SpoilerShow

Leia hands over all the keys to the Resistance to Rei before she quietly goes off to the retirement home to be one with the Force with her brother and Han (this is all offscreen).

Meanwhile, Phasma takes over the First Order and turns it into an effective fighting force because boys are dumb.
(Kylo Ren's destiny is to fight and lose to the black guy).

Rei leads a squadron of mostly untrained kids to fight the battle army. She crashes but gets to fight Phasma somehow--who takes off her helmet and says she secretly knows lightsabering.
Even though it's two women, Rei wins because evil is bad, and she captures her to put in jail for bad people.

The black guy wins because he finally figures himself out, after the brown pilot dies earlier in the movie (1) because he's a lower minority on the totem pole and (2) because he must pay for the sin of disobeying a woman.
Kylo Ren is taught that lessen about being yourself and not someone else and is thus spared and now good so girls in the audience can have their non-threating bad boy to fawn over.

They all end with staring at the space sky which is now a wonderful magical place filled with children who can now learn force powers, because the universe is happy.

So of course that will probably happen.

You forgot the traitor Rose
Shitney will somehow manage to make something even worse than that, never underestimate how retarded they can be

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

They probably give Rose a Not-Chinese lightsaber with a jian hilt.

The dumbest thing they could do is set up the climax of the last movie to be Rei vs. Phasma.

That would be extra dumb because I'm pretty sure Rei doesn't know Phasma even exists atm. So it's probably happening.

(Also I'm a bit worried about this black *male* beating up a woman. That's pretty abusive. I'm also getting some mixed message because her armor could be symbolic for a burkha.)

[Seele]

I'm still hoping that Abrams and Kennedy go with factoring in Earth somehow and establish Finn and Rey becoming Adam and Eve in the next movie. It could potentially be the perfect way to kill off this franchise's iota of integrity.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Why not. Worked just perfect for Lightning Returns, didn't it?

[Keith Chegwin]

No! Luca$ is retired now! Who will we blame for the movie Spielberg is directing against his will and has absolutely no say on!?

You should make an account, with the name 'George Lucas did nothing wrong'. So I know to ignore you

[da PAC Nigguh]

Phasma is the Disney trilogy's Boba Fett.

[Tony Schiavone]

Yeah, but she hasn't done anything cool or even competent yet. At all, in any way.

Every movie, she's had the equivalent of getting clumsily hit and landing splat into the sarlacc.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

At least Boba actually did shit relevant to the plot (track down the protagonists, call the Empire, and then drag Han's carbonited ass to Jabba). Episode VII Phasma did absolutely nothing aside from bullying a black guy and surrendering with zero resistance, and Episode VIII Phasma is literally a random boss encounter that changes fuckall aside from making her (feminine) hateboner grow a bit more.

[Guest]

The TR-8R guy was more Boba Fett than Phasma. He went "come at me, bro" to a guy wielding a lightsaber and beat him (even though he never wielded a lightsaber in his life)

[Guest]

I'm still hoping that Abrams and Kennedy go with factoring in Earth somehow and establish Finn and Rey becoming Adam and Eve in the next movie. It could potentially be the perfect way to kill off this franchise's iota of integrity.

You mean they could take a page from THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME?
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