Star Whores: Diverse Agenda

[sigh]

I'm still curious about the thought process that George Lucas went through that convinced him that photoshopping Christian Haydensen's smug mug on Anakin Skywalker's Force ghost at the end of ROTJ was somehow a good idea.

Anakin was retconed from a clone wars hero and a good friend to a whiny bitch that committed atrocities like killing the
younglings. The Darth Vader we know is beyond redemption, so we're left with Anakin as he was before he was seduced by the dark side.
That being said though, it defeats the entire purpose of having him in that scene.
Or he just didn't want an uncannon portrayal of the character, since the Anakin from that scene never really existed.

What cracks me up but isn't surprising in the least is that Laura Dern's tumblr haired Buzzfeed Editor character is essentially a stand-in for Kathleen Kennedy. You have the old guard (Lucas) handing the reins over to the new woman (Kennedy) and Poe (the Toxic Masculinity Patriarchy) is mansplaining to her in less than a minute which results in a verbal bitchsmack that all the YASSS queens can seal clap at.

Even before that, there is the cliché scene of "The commander that did that famous thing that everyone is looking up to is a woman", that's impossible He cannot simply admire her skills regardless of her gender to the point that he questions somebody if it really is the famous commander and the alien he asks looks at him like on a retard and grumbles something in disbelieve.

It'll be the Return of Diversity. Those cishet white males have it coming!

It will be "Rrebirth of the force" or something like that. With these movie I finally figured out why they nullified the EU.
Luke tried to recreate the Jedi Order, but failed. Now Rey will create a New (Better) Jedi Order and will symbolically be the matriarch-goddess of the new and improved Jedi. I don't know if they will use that name, but what I am certain is she will be the one to eliminate the Sith (and the Jedi) and bring balance to the Force and will create some new neutral party of force users, not necessarily knights or monks, but a totally new entity that will keep the force in balance, some hippie commune of enlightened force users that will be connected to the universe. Of course they will be the most diverse group of them all having all the human minorities and maybe two female aliens for good measure. We don't remember that the original Jedi order was diverse enough, it didn't have enough obese black woman and transgender dragonkins. The same way we don't remember any heroic women from the OT or prequels. Only current year shit matters.

[veris leta facies]

Oooh, the diversity. The sweet smell of progressiveness. We are the world ♫

That picture is on point cause A. East-Asians generally despise Negroes (how often you see black man with East-Asian woman?), and B. that's really one fugly gook. I guess you have to have your token Asian character there, but since the film is marketed towards Western audience mostly, she has to be considerably less attractive than Daisy Ridley so Western women won't feel inferior. It's like poetry.

[Auli]

The best character so far is Kylo Ren

rofl.... opinion invalid. He is one of the worst characters Ive ever seen on screen in any form of entertainment, second only to marey sue

Elaborate.

[Guest]

That picture is on point cause A. East-Asians generally despise Negroes (how often you see black man with East-Asian woman?), and B. that's really one fugly gook. I guess you have to have your token Asian character there, but since the film is marketed towards Western audience mostly, she has to be considerably less attractive than Daisy Ridley so Western women won't feel inferior. It's like poetry.

Her sister is much hotter, which I'm guessing why she gets killed off rather quickly along with the other hot female pilot.

What is it with Disney trying to push these ugly actors in lead roles? Even Adam Driver, who is supposed to be Han Solo's kid is an ugly mofo.

[Auli]

It'll be the Return of Diversity. Those cishet white males have it coming!

It will be "Rrebirth of the force" or something like that. With these movie I finally figured out why they nullified the EU.
Luke tried to recreate the Jedi Order, but failed. Now Rey will create a New (Better) Jedi Order and will symbolically be the matriarch-goddess of the new and improved Jedi. I don't know if they will use that name, but what I am certain is she will be the one to eliminate the Sith (and the Jedi) and bring balance to the Force and will create some new neutral party of force users, not necessarily knights or monks, but a totally new entity that will keep the force in balance, some hippie commune of enlightened force users that will be connected to the universe. Of course they will be the most diverse group of them all having all the human minorities and maybe two female aliens for good measure. We don't remember that the original Jedi order was diverse enough, it didn't have enough obese black woman and transgender dragonkins. The same way we don't remember any heroic women from the OT or prequels. Only current year shit matters.

Having a guild of neutral Jedith's (I COINED THE TERM FIRST, EAT IT! NOW DONATE TO MY PATREON) is very plausible.

How the fuck are The Resistance (now back to Rebels) gonna do anyything in Ep9? They are about 12 people at this point. No one came to help. So will we spend 2 hours going place to place and recuiting possible allies and then a 30 minute last battle?

Admiral Ackbar's grave was spit on.

How the fuck is the First Order so big? They basically went from being almost wiped out after RotJ (with some small part escaping to the Outer Rim). But in Battlefront 2, we learn that the FO pretty much didn't give a fuck after being defeated in RotJ and basically had a huge part left. So why didn't they just attack the Rebels? They would still destroy them. And now the FO didn't give a fuck being destroyed on Starkiller Base because they still had a huge fucking part left that could EASILY destroy the Resistance, since they basically wiped out the Republic forces.

I'm willing to bet (I actually wrote 'bed', but I didn't notice. But my brain did..." Snoke will be back. He will turn the Knights of Ren (yeah, they will suddenly appear again in Ep 9) again Kylo Ren. Ren will be redeemed and team up with female Jesus; Rey.

I guess Luke will be back as a ghost. And since we now know ghosts can affect the real world (Yoda smacking Luke on the head. Guess he also lightninged the Force Tree of Force (ugh..) This should have been Luke's end:

Force up his X-Wing. Come flying in right before the "batteringram-cannon" ( sigh... really?) Jump out after flying it into a walker.

Ren tells his guys to fire the fuck out of Luke, but he's actually kinda powerful, so he just brushes it off (just like he did in the movie). Then he puts out his hand, and fjcking crush a walker into the cannon. While he is doing this, he contacts Leia mentally and tell them to flee, because he will hold them off long enough, and Luke and Leia have a moment to say good bye.
Ren gets pissed, and tell them to hold fire. Ren walks out, and chokes Rose and Finn, but Luke stops him in a Jedi way. Luke tells them to run.
Then Ren and Luke talk about how Luke failed him etc etc and he's sorry. Luke knows he will die here, but he says to Ren:

"“If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."

They continue to fight, do some force stuff, some lightsaber-fighting. Add some neat dialogue and end it with Luke doing an Obi-Wan and just stand there, gets killed and vanishes like Obi-Wan and Yoda.
Ren gets pissed as hell.

Rey in the Falcon sees everything and sheds a tear and screams "nooooo" when she sees Luke vanishing. Rey has saved the remaining 12 Resistance-people. And Rey and Leia looks at eachother when they hear "The Force will be with you... always."

Then LIGHTSPEED!

They had the chance to have a kinda awesome send off (no pun intended) for Leia and Carrie Fisher by having her freeze in Space. But I guess we will get a CGI-Leia instead with either a lame death or dumb ending.



http://www.nme.com/news/film/rian-johns ... es-2177833
And I just found out that Rian Johnson said in an interview: "There will be 20 minutes of deleted scenes on the Blu-Ray. They are some of (actually think he didn't say "some of", but I wrote it because without it he will turn into more of a massive retard) the best scenes in the film.
If they where the best scenes in the film, then WHY DIDN''T YOU PUT THEM IN THE FILM!?

[Guest]

They're not. It's just a marketing ploy to get you to buy the home media release.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Probably more casino shit. The most important part of the whole movie!

Is this nobody a fucking furry? 'Cause that edgelord wolf there in the corner sure looks like it.

[Seele]

Sadly, yes. And he takes great pride in his autistic fetish.

[Tony Schiavone]

Admiral Ackbar's grave was spit on.

Fish man absolutely didn't deserve it. Of course, the one competent and interesting character gets wiped out. [To increase the body count, I guess? Way to make death meaningful.]
But was anyone actually looking and hoping to see him in the movie? It wasn't like they need to absolutely vaccuum up every single side character from the other movies and kill them. If anything, you take more money off the table by not being able to sell them out in your side fiction.

At least they haven't killed Wedge. *jinx*

How the fuck is the First Order so big? They basically went from being almost wiped out after RotJ (with some small part escaping to the Outer Rim). But in Battlefront 2, we learn that the FO pretty much didn't give a fuck after being defeated in RotJ and basically had a huge part left. So why didn't they just attack the Rebels? They would still destroy them. And now the FO didn't give a fuck being destroyed on Starkiller Base because they still had a huge fucking part left that could EASILY destroy the Resistance, since they basically wiped out the Republic forces.

I can tell you why.
The rest of the galaxy got fed up with all of the Rebels constant whining, incompetence, and diversity quotas. Over the years everything got progressively more shallow and lame.
Then the First Order appeared promising to Make the Galaxy Great Again, and everyone decided to vote and back them up huge because it was something they could believe in.

I'm willing to bet (I actually wrote 'bed', but I didn't notice. But my brain did..." Snoke will be back. He will turn the Knights of Ren (yeah, they will suddenly appear again in Ep 9) again Kylo Ren. Ren will be redeemed and team up with female Jesus; Rey.

My money is they'll bring back Ian McDiarmid, saying that the Emperor didn't die in the shaft after all and was just manipulating events behind the scenes this whole time...for some reason. Then Leia will become one with the Force and she and Han and Luke and Anakin and Obi Wan will all merge their ghosts somehow into their bodies to give them force overdrive superpowers to conquer the evil once and for all.

Also the reason Rey can do everything is because she had Qui-Gonn's ghost in her the whole time too.

[It's the most disappointingly illogical and unoriginal thing I could think of. ]

I guess Luke will be back as a ghost. And since we now know ghosts can affect the real world (Yoda smacking Luke on the head. Guess he also lightninged the Force Tree of Force (ugh..) This should have been Luke's end:

I feel like of all the ways they could have ended his character...that was the worst.
His whole character arc was building and growing and then he...gave up? He's really the whole center of the movies (not Anakin). Maybe if they had wanted to have him fall or be disappointed they should have--I don't know--shown it?

He didn't seem to teach his sister a whole lot, also, did he? She probably could've convinced him to keep lightsabering.

They had the chance to have a kinda awesome send off (no pun intended) for Leia and Carrie Fisher by having her freeze in Space. But I guess we will get a CGI-Leia instead with either a lame death or dumb ending.

They'll probably make her a droid.

[rabidtictac]

Sadly, yes. And he takes great pride in his autistic fetish.

>every time

It's as if they take pride in being as obnoxious as possible. Then they cry about "muh bigotry" when people rightly assume furfags are fucking annoying assholes.