It is done.
Sp00ny.exe
At was morning, on a friday, the 13th. As a professional NEET, I had plenty of time to practice my katana moves while listening to the Bleach OST and Hatsune Miku songs, as I am want to do.
Pleased by my advances on the path of bushido, I spent the next two hours fighting the good fight against Trump's fascist regime on twitter. I eventually had to pause, for I had to leave my basement as least once per week to check the mail.
To my surprise, I've gotten a thin pacakge from James, my nakama from Canada. The first thing that caught my eye as I opened it was a DVD. It was plain-looking, and had nothing on it aside from the word "Sp00ny.exe" written on it with a permanent marker. There was also a piece of paper with handwritten, shaky-looking text:
Please destroy this DVD immediately! Do NOT try to play it. Seriously, I'm not fucking kidding, not even my karate skills could save me. THIS IS NOT A JOKE!
I immediately went back into my basement and inserted the DVD into my PC. I opened the DVD and found two files: The titular "Sp00ny.exe", and a "readme.txt"
This file was uploaded to the Spoony Experiment Patreon page on November 13th in 2016, without any announcement. It was hidden behind an invisible URL and removed after only 11 minutes and 6 seconds.
Intrigued, I double-clicked the exe-file. What happened next blew me away: The screen turned black for around 1.5 seconds before loading a DVD menu for The Spoony Experiment.
I always hoped that Spoony made at least a prototype of his planned DVD, but I've never dreamed of ever seeing it before my eyes. Curious I hit "Play".
I was glued to my PC (even more so than usual) way past evening, watching what was essentially a Greatest Hits collection of Spoony's work. The Thing, Yor, The Clones of Bruce Lee... all my favorites were there. I experienced the charm, witty riffing and timeless characters like Dr. Insano I have known and loved for so many years, and who helped me through dark times more than once.
Sure, there were some oddities with the videos on this DVD: the video got distorted every now and then, and the opening song would sometimes play backwards. But I just chalked it up as encoding problems. It was essentially a bootleg, after all.
Just as I was wondering how long this DVD would be going, the screen turned black again, with nothing on it but the words "Lost Episode" written in Comic Sans.
I was at the edge of my seat. A lost episode of the Spoony Experiment? Could it be? I would be one of the few people in the whole world who would ever see this.
The black screen made way for what I assumed to be the set of a Halloween episode. "BETRAYAL" was written in fake(?) blood on the wall, and I could see a bloody scalp under the Wario hat. I was also pretty sure that Burton never had a human eyeball in his robot head, and there was a disturbingly realistic - maybe even hyper-realistic - head of Oreo sitting on the couch, looking directly at the camera with its dead eyes. The distortion also got a lot more frequent and worse, which made the whole setup even more unsettling.
After almost 5 minutes, Spoony finally entered the screen. He didn't wear any costume and just let himself fall back on the couch, cackling like a madman. It was very similar to when he burst into laughter during his classic Wing Commander video (which was of course also in this collection), though it came across as a bit more sinister thanks to the set.
After a couple minutes, he suddenly stopped laughing and straightened up, as if he suddenly noticed that the camera was on. Looking at the camera with a dead-serious expression, he reached out for something out of view without taking his eyes off of the camera. When his hand returned he held a deck of notes in hand. Holding it in both hands, he presented it before the camera, so that only the topmost note was visible. It had only one big letter written on it:
I
He dropped the note and revealed the one under it:
VOTED
Then he did it again:
FOR
My eyes widened with terror as this note dropped and revealed the terrible truth underneath:
I cried out in terror as I reeled back from the screen, triggers and panic attacks shaking my body to its very core. Through tear-filled eyes, I suddenly noticed on of April's creepy dolls sitting next to my monitor. It opened its mouth and let out a Kefka laugh.
Then I died.
